Thursday, May 8, 2014

What system do you play? It's Rant Time, Fanboy Edition

What system do you play?

FFS! I hate this question and all of it's variants. I hate it more than Mayo, Unsolicited advice from all GameStop and Best Buy Employees, Sun in my face while I am trying to drive, The end of HIMYM, The end of Lost, Final Fantasy 8 and Final Fantasy X, Cabbage, Ads for politicians or bills, Politicians, Alf, Scrappy Doo, Toilet seats warmed by someone else's ass, Christian Bale's bat voice, and hair in my food just to name a few.

Seriously, this question makes me want to scream. People ask this question with a fuck you smirk plastered to their face, ready to call you an idiot if you don't pick the console they like best. I know I am more fortunate than most in that I have the ability to own multiple systems, but being a shit-mouthed fanboy is pointless. I don't fault anyone for having a preference or an opinion but opining vitriolically about how much you hate the X-Box just because it's an X-Box makes you look like a fool. Let me be frank with everyone, I couldn't give two shits what system a game is released on. It makes no difference that Nintendo was my first love. Eff Microsoft, Eff Sony, and Eff Nintendo too. I am here to play games, a game is not made bad simply because it was released on a console that is not my first choice. Be a fan of games, not of large multinational corporations who do not care about you.

As gamers we should look to criticize  poorly made games, bad controls, cash grabs, lazy design, poor narratives, and all on disc dlc. Does this mean we shouldn't criticize Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo? No, not at all. All three of these companies deserve valid criticism. Sony's PS3 deserved to be blasted for the security holes, high price, arrogance, and their sub par online service. Microsoft earned it's hate with the Red Ring of Death, and Nintendo should apologize for the tragic mishandling of the Virtual Console, the inaccurate Wiimote, and it's terrible online functionality. While these companies earned their scars none of this has anything to do with how good Bioshock and The Last of Us are. Go to and read the comment section of any game review. What you find is fanboys lobbing hate bombs back and forth, and for what? Because Sony is awesome? Sony isn't awesome, Sony is a large company, they are not your friend, they don't care about you, and they are made of money and don't need your help. Stop being a walking, talking billboard!

People want to validate their consumer choices or those of their parents, but they don't need to. People should be free to like what they like without having to have a fight about it.

So what system do I play? I play all of them, as each has it's own merits and collection of exclusive titles that I want to play. I could go on about this for days but that is not what you are here for. I leave you with this.

Please remember to follow Wheaton's Law.


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